People always say we looked sweet together. It's bitterly sweet, to be exact.
*
His built body was against my front, his arms so strong and held me into him. I stood there, clueless about what I should do as this is my first time hugging and it happened too quick even though I foresee my graduation hug coming. My mind went blank, my heart went racing, and my breath gone wild. I placed my chin on his shoulder, right hand went to where the TV always filmed when hugging. That few seconds was confusing, I'm certain about my feelings to him, but I'm not sure about him.
He let go of my body, leaving me wanting for more of his touch. The tingling sensation still lingers within me, the sweet feeling of his touch made my cheeks flashy hot. He picked up his bag and proceed to walk down the slope, leaving me this weird agony. I too pick up my bag as I begin the long journey of my way back home. I was just a few blocks away from my dark abode. As we walked down the street, he hurried me. I don't want, I like to look at his back, it makes me feel a sense of security. He told me that he would certainly love to sent me home but his parents is fetching him soon. He directed me to my way back home. I asked for another hug, this time is a farewell hug before we part. Without much consideration, he pulled me into him, he hugged me so tight till I couldn't move an inch, I did not hug him back. However this time, I could feel my heart bled inside. Those seconds were long yet fast.
He said goodbye to me in my ear. His voice is so smoothing. For the very last time, he let go of me and turned his back away from me. Ouch, that was all I felt. As I turn away, tears well up in the corners of my eyes. Damn, I shouldn't be crying but I can't help it. We had graduated, I can't see him anymore. The thought of him being together with other girls in his later education, the thought of me not being able to find anymore reason to see him after the examinations, those just shoot straight into my heart and ripped it apart. How is he doing now?Has his parents reached? All I could think at that point of time is just him, him and more him.
I plucked in my earpieces and pressed the play button on my iPod. "Red" by Taylor Swift was playing in it. Those lyrics described my current feelings the most. As she sang the chorus, tears couldn't be held back anymore and I cried my way back home.
Losing him was blue like I’d never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met But loving him was red Loving him was red
*
He grinned when he heard my answer to the teacher regarding graduation night. I swear he grin. He has been persuading me to attend, and I gave him the answer he wanted.
At 11 am sharp, the class was dismissed and we had officially graduated. I was looking at him, hoping that he remembered what he told me when we were at the playground few days ago. Apparently, he forgot as he was running around the class photo-bombing others' picture. Perhaps he wants to be a part of other people's life, except mine. I leaned against the table, watching his silly acts. It was then my good friend decided to take a picture of me and him. He reject upon my friend's request and said that he did not want to take picture with a bitch. Trying to be cool, I replied back to him that neither do I want to take a picture with a bastard. That was just the names we gave each other.
In the end, we still took pictures together for a couple of times. At first take, he said that he looked ugly in it and wanted another. At the second take, I smirked and looked down. Taking to my surprise, his hand reached down my chin and pushes it up so that I will look at the camera. My cheeks was hot upon his touch, I have no idea if anyone sees that, if they do, they might think that we are an item, or maybe not since he is close to everyone. As the shutter pressed down, a permanent memory of us was taken.
*
I'm reluctant about sending him that message. I had already typed out what I'm going to ask. I'm going to ask him out to study with me. Actually, that is only excuse, the real reason why I asked him out was because I missed him, and of course, I want to study too. Finally, I picked up my courage and pressed the send button on the screen, the message appeared on the screen and I realised I was holding my breath. Waiting for his reply is a torture, there's even a couple of time where I would just want to delete the message away for the fear of rejection. The sound of hope rang, he replied. "Where" and "what time" was all he asked. As I was typing out the answer, deep down I'm afraid that I had successfully irritated him. I sighed to my thoughts and once again pressed the send button.
*
We met up at night under my block. While waiting, I was playing with this cat and he caught me. I don't know if I planned all these or he just happen to see it. We make our way to Starbucks. I chose to sit at a table where I will not see him directly because I know I will not focus. He sat one seat away from me, weird feeling arose in me. Maybe he do not want to be close to me. I threw that thought aside and took out my revision materials from my bag pack. I was studying History and he was writing English essay. "Red" by Taylor Swift was on the replay. Time was creeping slowly and I like it. Silence was between us until one of my friend noticed me. She gave me weird eye wink and I told her that it's purely studying. She's a nice person. After answering my question regarding about History, she left. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that he was looking around. He took off his earpieces and asked me who was that talking to me. I told him and continued with where I left off previously.
I was trying to draw illustration to help me further understand the topic and he saw it. He snatched my paper away from me. For a moment, I thought he was ignoring me. I took off one side of my earpiece and he told me that my method was going to help if I had the time. He is always disagreeing with my studying methods. I'm told off by him a couple of times for listening to music when studying. I snatched the paper back and was trying to put the earpiece back into my right ear when he actually grabbed my hand. I was shocked. There is always this tingling sensation whenever he touches me. That move forced me to look at him, straight into his eye. I was struggling to be free from him and he grabbed it even tighter. Once again, he told me to not to use that study method. I rolled my eyes and erased it. I looked around the surrounding wondering if anyone saw that. I'm stupid, people were around us.
We stopped studying at 1 am and headed to no where. We arrived to a place where it is far from my house. There's a steep slope leading up to two benches. He went up first and was reaching his hand out to me. I was stunned and tried to climb but I gave up and took his hand which was reaching out to me, only to me. He pulled me towards him and led me to the bench. I was sitting at another bench. He saw what I did and asked me if he had any virus. I shook my head and he sat beside me. The situation was awkward as we did not talk however thousands of starting line was passing through my mind like bullets. He wrapped his hand around my shoulder and I sat frozen. He threw my bag to another bench and shifted close to me. I looked straight, frightened by his action, but I did not shift away from him at all. To be honest, I like it. However, I think he can do this to the other girls he met.
We talked and joked as the time passed by. His hands was still behind my back, except that this time, his fingers was circling my back lightly. His touch is so soft yet it is making a impact to me. We were having a heart-to-heart talk when he suddenly placed his hand on my stomach. He told me that originally, he wanted to touch my heart, but due to location wise, he placed it on my stomach.
"Feel you heart, and don't believe what others say about you. Prove to yourself that you can do it."
Those words shook me. There is a mature side of him that he will only show when he is serious. After that, he jokingly said that my stomach is fat and I attempted to punch his. He held my hand and I swear he was so freaking close to me. That position was so awkward, awkwardly sweet. That forced me to look at him. In chinese, there's a saying that goes: Eyes are the windows of soul. My eyes gave way. I looked away immediately as I have a feeling that I can't control my emotions anymore. The guy that was currently sitting beside me is the guy I always wanted.
Time flies and soon it was 2 am. His phone rang and ordered me to keep quiet. I know the time has arrived where we have to go. I don't want to leave, but no matter how much I don't wish to leave, I have to for he is not mine. He stood up right in front of me and ordered me to stand. I stood up and the next second when I regain my conscious, I was in his arms.
My mind was filled with silence and shouting from my heart. I wished time stop. Damn, when is he so tall? I awkwardly placed my hand on his back.
I love that bastard.
*End
It took me hours to type that weird story I had in my mind while day dreaming.
Pardon me for my grammatical errors,
I know there's a lot of them but f care.
It's is not O level.
It is my first time writing a English story.
Normally I would write it in Chinese.
Hmm.
Maybe I will write a final part to it.
Graduation Night.
See my mood first la.
CRY. I have graduated and I miss my classmate so much. D:
