Pardon me with Chinese post at the start.
寻找知心朋友犹如海底捞针，
机会只有万分之一。
但那并不代表你不会遇到那位朋友。
其实我们往往错过那位朋友，
原因都是应为我们没打开心眼。
这个世界仿佛一个一望无际的大海，
而海里的生物似人：
有的像鲨鱼，非常危险
有的像虾，吃剩垃圾
有的像石头鱼，被人忽略
有的像魔鬼鱼，靠近是伤不起的。
而大多数的人则像那成群结队的鱼儿，
哪里鱼多，就跟哪里。
那针在哪里呢？
海里根本就没有针。
I can still vividly remember what happened yesterday.
School's night study starts at 6pm and I arrived at only 8pm as I was rushing my D&T course work like some mad woman.
And because I was late, the teacher-in-charge do not allow me to stay.
So I have no choice but to head home.
As I was about to walk out from the room, she asked me, with no intention,
"Do you have friends to accompany you home?"
I stopped, and was actually about to answer with my usual cold replies,
"No, I do not have any friends."
However I figured out that it will hurt a couple of people in the room,
In the end, I threw her a "No" and walked off from the hard working people.
"Oh wow, you got chased out," I thought.
At that point of time, I was affected by it.
I could feel tears welling up as I have never felt so embarrassed (even though I did nothing wrong),
and that little did I expect that my close friend's reaction would be this calm, this cold.
She just replied with a "Orh".
That happened right before the teacher-in-charge asked me if I have any friend to accompany me home.
I was really shaken by it.
I'm really easily shaken up, emotionally unstable.
Libra.
So while I as waiting for my bus, plugging in my earphones hoping that it will subside those stupid feelings, someone surprised me.
This friend of mine was also caught by the teacher-in-charge and got sent back home too.
And I decided to tell this friend about my thoughts, which I ended up getting a question from him,
"You do know you don't really treat her that well right?"
I know, I know very clearly about that.
Retribution.
Karma.
Bao Ying.
I deserve it.
I really suck at dealing with people.
Understanding.
Relations.
Whatever got to do with human, I'm terrible at it.
That's no wonder I'm an introvert.
Damn.
I really hate people, that includes myself.
"Emo girl".
There are times where you really couldn't bottle up your feelings anymore and needed to talk it out to someone badly,
and no one is there.
And being a person who do not want/like to shame myself,
I kept it, kept it, kept it.
And absolutely had no idea when/where can I vent it all out.
Sometimes I wonder where are the roots of all these troubles,
but I couldn't find an answer.
So I came with a conclusion that I must be really bored, bored till I decided to create problems for me to trouble.
Why am I like this.
Why? T^T
Okay, even though sometimes I had someone to vent it to,
but what I really want it not a listener, I need an adviser.
If I need a listener, I would talk to a block of wood.
Please don't say that you're afraid that I won't listen and go against you.
I am stubborn, but not so stubborn till that.
However, I'll still appreciate your precious time for listening to my rant.
Thanks, a lot.
I asked this question to quite a lot of people,
"Do you think friends are essential in life?"
Maybe that's the reason why I do not have many friends
我们根本就没有知心朋友。
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