update on my mental

i'm going to be as candid as possible because no one is going to read this.

i'm not coping well.

i'm not coping well at all and it has reached the point where even breathing is a hassle. to a point where there won't be a day which i don't question my entire existence on this earth. is this an existential crisis? or am i so woke? does everything even matter anymore?

i've said in the previous post that i will be seeing a psychologist to get myself diagnosed. i got the diagnosis, and i am, in fact clinically depressed and is suffering from anxiety too. after whole fucking 5 years, i've finally put a name to whatever i've suffered. i feel kind of relieved, at the same time i feel so scared too.

i'm ending this here, i can't think anymore, i'm just trying to not give up.