Wasted June

Haha.

It was quite a emotional week for me.

Adding to the fact that I'm returning to school to finish my Design & Technology course work for almost the whole of my June Holiday.

My holidays~~ 

T.T

I rarely write about my relationship stuff.

But I just thought that I need to note it down because I don't want to have depression.

Well,

My crush for that 1 whole year plus,

is attracted to a girl.

(I'm writing here because I assume he don't read it)

When I first heard it, I think it was too much for me to take it.

Hmm.

So my whole mind was blank at that point of time,

but luckily I recovered my thoughts after a few seconds,

if not my friend will be asking quite a lot of stuff.

And when she posted another question:

"What if he is in a relationship with other girls?"

I have expected that question to be asked.

I was thinking:

Should I be generous and say:

"I wish both of them the very best."

Or should I be feeling and say:

"I will cry and get devastated because I like him a lot and for so long." 

But she answered for me,

she thought that my answer will be the first one.

Well, I say no further.

And I think she was stunned:

"Just that?"

"Yes, just that."

Actually, there's a lot more.

But I want my thoughts to be kept to myself.

There was no time for me to tidy my thoughts.

It's either they are running wild or they will disappear and my mind becomes blank.

Magic.

---♚---

Before I knew about my crush's stuff,

I was actually accounting confusion with my male good friend.

Have I ever told you that I'm not good with interacting with guys?

Or if you want to worsen this,

Phobia towards guys, otherwise known as

Androphobia

So, I don't know why, but my fear for him grew.

And I started to avoid him.

He seems really upset and went to ask my good friend what happened to me.

Why she knows why, but I'm not sure if she told him.

So basically this is how I avoid him:

If he is anywhere near my workplace,

I will shift to another place.

I will avoid his glare.

And because of him, I had breathing difficulties.

I was trying my best to concentrate on my work.

I was even thinking of transferring school because of this.

I know, exaggerate. 

I wonder why was I enrolled into a mixed school.

Oh ya, because they have Macbook.

Stupid reason.

I was waiting for the time to pass like mad so I can rush to meet my friend,

also to avoid him.

Now you must be wondering how can I communicate with them.

Well, if purely communication is still fine with me.

But anything than that is a NO for me.

Oh,

I realized I'm like this anime character:

Kaede Igarashi from Seitokai Yakuindomo

She has extreme Androphobia.

---♚---

I have been doing nothing for this whole June holiday.

It feel so wasted.

And the worst thing is school is starting next week.

OAO

But I drew some anime. :D

Version 1 (as you can see from my banner)

Version 2

Version 1

Version 2

Version 3 (this look damn ghostly)

Some anime drawing I drew from an online picture.

Need more improvement in it.